Posts

Narcissists - Are They Everywhere?

Introduction Over my last three blog posts, I've shared what I've learnt about narcissists and how this impacts my children. I've also continued to read more about the subject and investigate other puzzling behaviours from people I've encountered from my past.

It seems to me that the following is true:-
Narcissism is a driving force behind a lot of difficult relationships.Narcissism is easily passed down to the next generation.The behaviours of Narcissism are varied, but always destructive. Today I'm going to focus on "passing down to the next generation" by considering an incident where an old friend decided to cut ties with me.

With Friends Like These..... I met my friend at University in the early 90's and although we had very different backgrounds, we shared an interest in music and sci-fi, and had a similar sense of humour. Things were going great until we both failed our end-of-year exams. His family only lived a few miles from the university an…

Narcissism - Maybe it's Not Always Obvious

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I was Wrong In my last blog I stated that I didnt believe my ex-wife was narcissistic, but I was wrong. It wasn't until I posted a link onto the reddit group, raisedbynarcissists that somebody put me straight.

lituritu said..
"It is possible that she is just toxic. But it is also possible that he just doesn't see her as narcissistic simply because he doesn't know what a narcissist is and how they behave. Most of the bullet points really point to the latter.
I have to say though, this sounds very familiar to many of the experiences we share here with covert narcissism, all the way down to the "She thinks her brother has it easier" (aka. she is the best at suffering..). She was even treated poorly by her own narcissist mother, and I very much recognize even that horrible tension at the dinner table that he writes about."

It's true, I'd only considered the classical meaning inspired by the Greek mythological hunter who was in love with his own reflec…

The First Born

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Introduction In my last post I mentioned that my oldest son lives with me. It wasn't a difficult decision for him to make, because when he went home one day and she'd packed his bags for him and demanded he return his key. He'd wanted to be able to freely come and go between the family home and my house, but this was at-odds with his mum's insistence on me pre-agreeing with her whenever he visited. The more she pushed, the more he pushed back, and it soon reached the stage that they just started lying to each other.

It's no great surprise that this just made things far worse, and so on January 4th he moved in with me.

Playing Favourites I was my father's favoured son and I'd seen first hand what it did to my siblings. To this day there's a real animosity between my sister and my dad, so there was no way I'd want to pass that down to the next generation. Yet if you look at the way my ex-wife treated our first born, it shows all the signs of the abus…

I'm Taking Over the Blog

The Take-Over This blog has been abandoned by the original author because she just finds it too difficult to write about many of the things that have happened to her over the years. While this is a shame, I thought I might take over and write about my concerns.

Before we start, I need to make it clear that I have no problems at all with my own mother. She's great, I'm very lucky to have always had somebody so supportive, intelligent and reasonable in all things. It's only later in life that I realise how special it is to have somebody like that for a mother. So which mother do I want to talk about?

So What's it all About? It's my Ex-Wife,.. I'm glad to be rid of her, but my children have to cope with her on a daily basis. She has custody of my two youngest sons, and uses every means she can to keep a tight control on them, restricting my access to them and giving me no say in their upbringing. My oldest son (who was 16 when we split) now lives with me becau…

The beginning

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I'm not entirely sure how to describe my relationship with my mother, at present it is non-existent but she is still present in my head. I don't justify myself in my mind every day, but I do and it happens way too often. It's not helpful that my father is fairly abusive too and their relationship with each other was, and remains, poisonous.
We all lived in a giant tinderbox with sparks constantly flying, I seem to remember physical fights from when I was very young, but maybe I imagined them. I definitely didn't imagine the verbal fights, they are still going on and pretty much as vicious as they were then. As a child I just remember wanting to disappear when this happened, the fluttering would start in my stomach and I would want to shrink to nothingness.
The arguments would start over anything, and seemed to almost instantaneously blow up into being verbally abusive with my father calling my mother derogatory names. He would attack her intelligence, her weight, the …